Italian Village

On this week’s episode of the Pizza Quest, Chandler and Joey meet up with Rachel and Monica at Central Perk.  While drinking their coffee, everyone laughs at Chandler’s hilarious sarcasm, but things get ugly when the gang returns home only to discover that someone has eaten Joey’s sandwich!  Oh wait, I think I’m talking about the wrong thing.  Ah, yes, pizza!  This week we went to Italian Village located just west of the intersection of Rangeline and Vandiver.  This week’s Quest was attended by first-time Italian Villagers Fallon and Gilman and guest eater Mark.  Keep reading to find out what this group of “friends” thought about Italian Village’s pizza.

The Order:

1 Large Pizza

-          Pepperoni, Bacon, and Italian Sausage

1 Order of Mozzarella Sticks

2 Liters of Pepsi

Price – $23.60 ($7.87 / person)

Wait Time – 12 minutes

Fallon’s Take:

You don't have to tell Charlie twice about birdlaw

This week the Quest headed to Italian Village to experience some tasty bacon, sausage and pepperoni pizza.  New Quester, Mark, decided it would be a good idea to bring along his hummingbird.  Of course we had to put this to a stop.  Yeah, you CAN keep a hummingbird as a pet, we told him, it’s just illegal.  We enjoyed having Mark with us but it was clear he knew little of Bird Law.  Hummingbirds…hummingbirds are illegal tender.  Unlike gulls, you just aren’t allowed to keep them as pets.  But okay, we’re all hungry.  We’ll all get to our hot-plates soon enough.  Italian Village’s self-conscious owner had no reason to worry, as his pizza pies were some of the best in Columbia.  The bacon, especially, stood out.  The crust also was very good, like a breadstick at the end of the pizza.  Italian Village gets high marks.  The only drawback would be the lack of fountain soda (They had to be purchased in cans or bottles).  What doesn’t get high marks?  Mark’s…knowledge on bird law.  I mean, the guy thinks you can keep a hummingbird, just like a parakeet.  You really can't, and I'm not saying I agree with it. It's just that bird law in this country—it's not governed by reason.

Mark's "illegal" hummingbird tattoo

Sauce – 3

Crust – 5

Cheese – 4

Toppings – 4

Ambiance – 3

Presentation – 3

Service – 4

Prices – 4

Average – 3.75

Gilman’s Take:

This dog's award
is only slightly more
prestigious than the
3rd best Columbia
food blog award

First off, I must humbly point out that our blog has been ranked the third best food blog in the city of Columbia, Missouri; which is almost as satisfying as the award this dog won.  Nevertheless, Italian Village should win an award of its own.  In my book, its neck and neck with Kostaki’s for my favorite pizza we’ve had so far.  Let’s go down the list and see what earned high marks.  Sauce: check.  Crust: check.  Cheese: check.  Toppings: check.  Mounted rhinoceros head above bathroom door: check.  Lack of glasses baby: check.  Impromptu street magic: unfortunately, no.  But in all seriousness, the crust and toppings were especially delicious.  The service and prices were excellent.  The only negatives I can say about Italian Village are the air conditioning was broken and the lack of fountain soda.  And obviously the lack of street magic.

Just say NO to glasses babies

Sauce – 4

Crust – 5

Cheese – 4

Toppings – 5

Ambiance – 3

Presentation – 3

Service – 4

Prices – 5

Average – 4.13

Ultimate Pizza Rating – 3.94

And now a review from guest blogger Mark:

Disclaimer: For all you losers out there that put a napkin on your pizza to soak out the grease, no such technique is needed at this establishment. Also, you are a loser for said technique. Go eat a salad.

Real Disclaimer: The opinions and ideas presented in this guest blog are for informational and educational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Gilman or Fallon or any of their subsidiaries or affiliates.

Dearest Mr. Fallon and Mr. Gilman,

Thank you so much for allowing me to partake in the COMO Pizza Quest.  As I entered the establishment I did not notice much of the atmosphere, probably because I was so nervous being in the presence of Gilman and Fallon look-a-likes.  After my nervousness subsided I began to notice the unique pizza joint atmosphere.  There was over 500 pounds of flour sitting in the dining room.  Either the owner is a hoarder, smart businessman, Mayan Calendar follower, or a drug dealer.  I am leaning towards the latter because the pizza was addicting.  I have pondered about venturing back on at least 10 different occasions.  The toppings and crust made the pizza.  I do not recollect much of the sauce so I have concluded that the drugs are not in the sauce.  The crispiness and deliciousness of the bacon was top notch.  Even a pig would be proud.  I had never tasted such quality bacon topping on a pizza before.  The crust was also delicious.  If you happen to be a non-crust eater than you will be missing out if you eat at Italian Village.  Once I got to the crust it tasted as if I was holding a bread stick.  (I enjoyed it so much I almost shared my feelings with Gilman and Fallon but was too nervous to speak.  They were so intimidating.)  The owner must have gone broke purchasing the 500 pounds of flour and quality of bacon.  No fear, Gilman left a hefty tip so they could fix the A/C and buy a fountain soda machine.  But really, are those necessities in the restaurant business?  Of course not. 

My Rating – This pizza is good

P.S. the FBI must have read your blog because a SWAT team came to my home and took my hummingbird.  They even knew that he was Cuban.  I don’t blame you.  I blame bird law.  Here is a picture of the depressing event.

Thanks Billy and Jimmy

So while it still didn’t quite reach “Johnny-5” territory, Italian Village barely takes the top spot away from Kostaki’s in the Ultimate Pizza Rating.  Continue to check out the site and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and our new page on Urbanspoon.  And make sure to check out next week’s Pizza Quest episode where Joey and Chandler decide to use a foosball table as a kitchen table.  CRAZY!