Fallon and Gilman's Como Pizza Quest

Fallon and Gilman's Como Pizza Quest
Two handsome men searching for a handsome pizza

Friday, August 20, 2010

Arris' Pizza

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a moose?  I have no idea.  That sounds like a question for a scientist.  What I do know is that The Pizza Quest has returned, and we are just full of surprises.  First off, check out the pizza playlist.  It is full of songs about pizza, tunes from the handsome child crooner Billy Gilman, and a Prince parody from the also handsome Jimmy Fallon.  Next, we’ve added a new page devoted to Fallon and Gilman’s favorite videos and links.  Most importantly, we’ve returned with an excellent review of Arris’ Pizza including guest reviews from MU bookstore employees Leslie and Ethan.  Keep reading to find out if Arris’ Pizza makes the grade.
The Order:

1 Large Pizza
-          Hercules (ground beef, Canadian bacon, pepperoni, Greek sausage, and breakfast bacon)
1 Medium Pizza
-          George’s (breakfast bacon, roma tomatoes, feta cheese and oregano)

1 Order of Mozzarella Sticks
1 Pitcher of Blue Moon

Price – $51.04 ($12.76 / person)
Wait Time – 18 minutes

Fallon’s Take:

Ponce de Leon: "This pizza was most
unsatisfactory.  You will not be spared.
To the death bungle!"
In 1776 God created The United States of America.  In 1777 Jesus’ brother, George Washington, created Arris’ pizza.  Arris’ pizza was a great find here in Columbia.  I like to think that not even Tom Sawyer and his blue ox, Sacagawea, found anything this great as they explored the Oregon Trail together in the early 1900s.  The pizza, loaded with meat, was great.  The cheese and sauce were very good as well.  We all know Paul Bunyan got the nickname “Jonny Appleseed” by marching across this land planting apple trees in graveyards.  Well maybe the cooks at Arris’ should get a nickname of their own.  How about Jonny Pizzaseed?  Or maybe Pizza Kings or something?  But that’s not important now.  What’s important is that you go try some pies at Arris’.  I recommend something with bacon on it.  The only drawback here was the toppings and cheese easily slid off the crust.  Ponce de Leon discovered Missouri in 485 A.D.  The only drawback to that was that he ate all the pizza in sight because he was 50 stories tall and he was hungry.  Since then, the locals have been trying to make a pizza good enough to appease his soul that haunts the Midwest.  It seems as though Arris’ may have done that.  We’ll have to wait til Ponce returns to Columbia to see if that happens.  Unfortunately he’s been spending all his time at Six Flags recently.  He likes the “Mr. Freeze” ride the most.  In summation, Ponce de Leon never gives autographs, even after he wins at go-karts.

Sauce – 3
Crust – 4
Cheese – 5
Toppings – 5
Ambiance – 4
Presentation – 3
Service – 5
Prices – 3

Average – 4.00

Gilman’s Take:
Oh hi, The Room

Sorry it has been a while, but like I said, I’m very busy right now.  Fallon and I arrived at Arris’ first and waited for the others to arrive.  When they got there, Fallon and I both said, “Oh hi, Ethan.  Oh hi, Leslie,” and I asked, “Do you want me to order a pizza?”  Unenthusiastically, Ethan and Leslie responded, “Whatever.  We don’t care.”  To their delight and surprise, I replied, “I already ordered a pizza.”  While we were waiting for the pizzas to arrive, the four of us engaged in some great conversation while entire CDs of Jack Johnson and Johnny Cash played over the speakers.  I overheard someone at a table next to us complain about the lack of musical variety, and I turned toward him and yelled, “Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!”  Fallon told a few jokes, and I responded by laughing the same way every time.  I even laughed a few times when no jokes were told.  When the pizzas arrived, I was so excited.  Sometimes when I was around the pizza, I felt like I wanted to kiss it and tell it that I love it.  The pizza tasted great, especially the toppings.  However, we ran into the same problem we had at Tony’s Pizza Palace: the cheese and toppings would not stay on the pizza.  After this climactic discovery, I yelled, “You’re tearing me apart, pizza!!”  I was so angry I threw a TV out of the window.  After I calmed down, I realized that although Arris’ Pizza contained the fatal flaw, it wasn’t nearly as bad as Tony’s.  The cheese, crust, and sauce were all above average, and the toppings were excellent.  But you know what they say, “Love is blind.”  Gotta Go.

Sauce – 4
Crust – 4
Cheese – 2
Toppings – 5
Ambiance – 4
Presentation – 3
Service – 4
Prices – 2

Average – 3.50

And now a review from guest blogger Leslie:
Mmmm...Pizza Diamonds

Hello, readers, look at your pizza, now back to this blog, now back at your pizza, now back to this blog. Sadly, the pizza isn’t Arris’ Pizza, but maybe if you stopped eating mediocre pizza and switched to Arris’ Pizza loaded with bacon and feta your life would be better. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re at Arris’ Pizza. What’s in your hand, back at this blog. I have it, it’s an ice cold beer. Look again, this blog is now diamonds. Anything is possible when you eat Arris’ Pizza. I’m on a horse.

Sauce – 4
Crust – 4
Cheese – 3
Toppings – 4
Ambiance – 5
Presentation – 4
Service – 4
Prices – 4

Average – 4.00

And now a review from guest blogger Ethan:
Johnny Cash would have loved to pig out at Arris'

Arris’ Pizza can be best described as pizza for the rich, however money doesn't always lead to great pizza, but I Guess Things Happen That Way.  When I first entered Arris’,I felt as if I had under dressed for the occasion; it was as if I was a Highwayman just come off the road.  I dressed like the Man in Black himself, and was greeted by two lovely ladies at the front door, however the waitress was rather unexcited to see another join the epic bloggers who were already seated.  Needless to say the prices were the biggest turn off and after looking at them I wanted to Cry, Cry, Cry.  After breaking out of the Rusty Cage of regret for not bringing in my ID so that I could buy beer we decided to get a appetizer of Italian Mozzarella sticks, which I noticed was a little bit odd considering it is a Greek related restaurant.  This alone set us back 6.50 which forced me to Walk the Line with my pocket book.  While we waited for the pizza we Got a Rhythm while listening to the greatest artist of all time... Johnny Cash.  Whose legendary works inspired this review, and the pizza was almost as good as the music they played.  Once it finally arrived the pizza was amazing however the slices needed expertise in eating pizza because Scotty was having some trouble.  Demolishing the pizza was the easy part of this meal, but afterward I felt like it was Sunday Morning Coming Down I was so full.  The pizza itself was really good and the toppings were stuffed on there and it made everything better.  However I was the first to take a look at the bill which splitting the bill 4 ways made everything a lot nicer but it was 16 bucks with tip just for myself, and I didn't even get beer which made me sad.  Pizza without beer is like having a heart with no blood to run through it.  I recommend this place if you have some extra money or if you can get somebody else to pay for the meal.

Sauce- 5

Average – 4.13

Ultimate Pizza Rating – 3.75

That’s it for our review of Arris’ Pizza.  As of the reviews posting date, Arris’ 3.75 UPR makes it currently Columbia’s 3rd best pizza.  Unfortunately The Como Pizza Quest has also fallen to Columbia’s 3rd best food blog according to Urbanspoon, down from its previous ranking of 2nd place.  I’m not sure how these rankings are determined, but it probably wouldn’t hurt if you visited our blog and Urbanspoon page several hundred times a day.  If you can push us to the #1 ranking, we promise to might post more often.  Also, make sure to check out the new page of links which are Fallon and Gilman approved.  Lastly, thanks to Leslie and Ethan for their contributions.  We would love to have more guest eaters and bloggers for our future reviews.  If you want to join us, let one of us know or tell us on Facebook or Twitter.  We promise we don’t bite.  Unless you’re a pizza! LOL! TTYL! (Sorry) 
Arris Pizza Columbia, Mo on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. This is an AMAZING coincidence because the street I live on is named 'Ponce de Leon' (pronounced PON..............sadeleon)!!!!